LEB-LUST

NBA PLAYOFFS ROUND 2:

(Fouls called on Lebron in last 17 games: 15)

Before we get down to it, let’s give King James his props, a well deserved MVP. He is the league’s best player and most valuable, without question. I don’t have to like it, but I’m not crazy enough to deny it. This is why it is all the more frustrating that the officials continue to act like American Idol groupies in the face of the King. Including the four game sweep of the Pistons and two game 1/2 of a sweep of the Hawks, the King, has been whistled for a staggering 15 fouls in his last 17 games. And that number is only slanted upwards because after calling only 2 fouls on the King in the first 3 games of the Pistons series, the refs realized it was getting a little silly and tried to even things up by calling 3 fouls on the King in game four.

He is undoubtedly the best player, with unlimited physical gifts. Do we really need to give the extra advantage of him being officiated like Jesus by 3 Bishops? It is just plain silly, and it diminishes him and the sport. A foul is a foul. When you are as big, fast and strong as Lebron; when you are involved in as many physical collisions, it is inevitable that you foul people, at least a few times a game. But not the King. Keep track, going back 11 games into the regular season, when the Lebrons locked up the overall one seed and the MVP for the King, 9 fouls were called. With 6 more in the 5 playoff games, we are up to 15 fouls in his last 17 games. As a service to our readers, we will keep track as often as we can get around to it. I’m begging the officials, stop embarrassing yourselves with your Leb-lust.

One more thing here because I just can’t resist. Lebron is quickly catching up to Tim Duncan with the outraged "are you kidding me, you’re calling a foul on me" face. Yes, King, we know you’re the best and the refs treat you like adolescent girls treat the Jonas brothers. Enjoy it. Don’t embrace and expect it. And don’t make the Duncan face when they make a call on you. You do commit fouls, every NBA player does. Well, almost every NBA player not blessed with official Leb-lust.

Hawks-Cavs:

Is there any way in the world that the Cavs lose this series? I suppose the King could throw his back out slipping on spilt milk at home, but short of that, no. That being said, if the Hawks want to make a series of it, and they do have the talent and athleticism to do so, they can. Assuming they don’t play every other game like complete cow plop as they did against the Heat.
The Hawks have a variety of athletes that can try to slow down Lebron just the tiniest bit. Whether is Joe Johnson or even Josh Smith at times or Marvin Williams. Just stand your ground, give up the jumper and try not to get beat too badly when he goes by.

I wrote this before the Hawks went down 2-0 and turned into a MASH unit, but the rest of this is still 100% applicable, although useless to the artists formerly known as the Atlanta Hawks.

The key to beating the Cavs is to not let the side dishes get you. It’s Thanksgiving, you’re going to gorge on turkey. Don’t fill up on the bread, chips, veggie dips and everything else. Enjoy your turkey and gravy and don’t get side tracked. Ok, it’s a poor analogy. But the mixed greens medley of Mo Williams, Delonte, Szczerbiak, in combination with the foreign specialty Illgauskus/Varejao salad , should not be kicking anyone’s ass. (We will come back to the myth that is the greatness of Mo Williams in a minute). The theme this year has been Lebron’s ascendancy to greatness and the vast improvement of his supporting cast. A cast that is essentially the same as last year’s with one Mo Williams added. Did these guys all get magically better over the summer, or are they about as good as they have always been? You make the call.

Guard your side dishes, let the turkey have his. Don’t double. The Cavs become unstoppable when teams start doubling Lebron. He’s too good a passer. Stay with him. If he scores, 50, 60, even 70, who cares. All the shooting may slow him down, just a hair anyways. You can’t have Illgauskus taking one wide open 15 footer after another. No open threes for Szcerb, Mo, or Delonte. No uncontested dunks for Varejao. Stay with your man. The Cleveland side dishes, not a singe one of them, can consistently create their own shot. Mo Williams, please, we’re coming back to him, don’t you worry. The side dishes have gotten very good and confident knocking down wide open jumpers or dunks. I once made 48 our of 50 foul shots with no one guarding me. These are professionals, why give them the out.

Stay with Lebron. There is this mentality that if one guy is scoring at will, that you need to double him. But when it results in the other 4 guys getting going, it doesn’t help. Not with this team. Stick with Lebron, and keep the side dishes in the fridge. It’s your only chance. Although the Hawks still have no chance, whatsoever.

On to Mo Williams, or as he is known by talking heads and everyone in the state of Ohio, the greatest point guard in the history of the universe. This is a point guard averaging 4.1 assists per game during the regular season and 4.7 in the playoffs. Sure he hits the open 3 and has hit some clutch shots and Lebron picks up the assist slack, but Moe also has never faced true playoff pressure. Mo, talk to me when you can legitimately be in the conversation of top 10 point guards. In no particular order, list of point guards better than Mo the Great:

Williams, Paul, Rondo, Chauncey, Calderon, Nash, Parker, Harris, Rose, Ford, and Miller. Alright, Miller’s a stretch but he was 11, and we’re not even including Duhon and J-Kidd. Mo Williams is the league’s most overrated player today. Mike Bibby will outplay him in this series.

And let's not forget this. The Cavs barely broke a sweat against the Quitters, oops, I mean Pistons and are going for another effortless sweep. These are not your 95-96 Bulls. They are not playoff tested as a group. I'm not saying they can be stopped, but they will be going into the Conference finals without having played a competitive game in more than a month. Think that's not a negative?

THE RAJON RONDO SHOW

How good is Rajon Rondo? Through 9 grueling playoff games, Rondo is averaging 18.3 points, 9.6 rebounds, 11.9 assists and 2.7 steals. Assist to turnover ratio: 4.25:1. This is how you gauge how good a player is. If you could start a team right now who would you start with. Number one, Lebron. Number two, Dwight Howard. After that, Rondo. Kobe, please, too old. You want Chris Paul, you can have him. Rondo consistently outplays him. Derron Williams, same answer. D-Wade, lotta miles and injuries on that frame, but he could be three to Rondo's four, I suppose. Rondo consistently outplays every top point guard. He’s 23. In his third year. And he is carrying a decimated Celtics team in this year’s playoffs. He is the single most electrifying player in the league.

Write this down: Rajon Rondo will average a triple double for a season. He’s not even reached his prime. He will average the triple double and he will win the MVP. Call me a fan boy if you will. But, the points and assists will be easy. He just needs to grab enough rebounds to get over the number. Probably not next year. However, when Rondo reaches his prime, 25-28, a season averaged triple double is coming. The Magic are finished. Rondo refuses to lose. In game two, the Magic were blasted with Paul Pierce scoring 3 points. Watch out.

By the way. Dwight Howard. Every pick Howard sets is an offensive foul, watch the tape. Don’t tell the refs, though, they must be having dreamy thoughts about Lebron.

Here is quote from Stan Van Gundy, who I think has just taken the award for the single dumbest pre-game comment, in reference to Alston’s suspension and complaining that Rondo should have been suspended for the Brad Miller foul in game 5 of the previous series. That’s right, the series that the soon to be out of work former porn star was not even a part of:

"The question everybody has is, 'Why when Brad Miller is going to the hoop, can you just take a swing?' You know, the only ones I think that agree that he didn't wind up and follow through were Stu Jackson and David Stern. I think everybody else, including Boston fans, know he wound up and followed through."

Really, Stan, even the Boston fans thought he should have been suspended? What’s your basis for that. Did your crabs tell you that? SVG, why, why are even bringing this up? How dumb are you? That wasn’t even your series. You’re going to compare a hard foul in live play to stop a basket to your slimy player slapping someone upside the head who is facing away from them. It seems pretty clear that Rondo has already taken "the leap", but what do you think he is going to do to your joke of a back court now? Pure, unadulterated idiocy. Is there any doubt that his quote will be on the blackboard in the Celtics’ locker room before game 3 tonight, any doubt at all?

I think there’s only one solution to this. For every game he coaches for the rest of his life, SVG should have to endure an unanticipated slap upside the head from behind, from one of the opposing team’s fans. He won’t know when it’s coming, but at some point in every game, someone gets to smack Ron Jeremy upside the head. We’ll see how he likes it.

This is about the most irritated and personal that I have gotten, but Stan Van Gundy is a fat load of crap and his team hates his guts. Keep on screaming you loon, you’re screaming your team right out of the playoffs and right out of a job. Well, at least there’s that porn thing to fall back on, assuming he can still find it down there.