Week 2 Recap, apologies and adulation:

The fun of putting your two cents out there is being ready to chow down on some chicken fried crow steak on Tuesdays.  After a 7-7-1 week, (we’ll always take anything at or above .500) let’s start with our list of apologies.  I believe the alcoholics would call this step 9.  

1. Richard Seymour:

If only anyone read my blog, I could take credit for firing up Richard Seymour who was the difference in the Pats-Jets game.  Unfortunately, no one does, so I cannot.  This was the old Richard Seymour, the game changer, the difference maker, the best player on the field.  Getting into the backfield whenever he wanted, disrupting almost every single significant play.  Single handedly breaking the hearts of Thomas Jones’ fantasy owners nationwide.  If you can’t get in from the 3 yard line on 3 straight carries, you might as well go home.  Good thing the Jets were already there.  

D’Brickashaw Ferguson must still be curled up in a corner quivering and sucking his thumb.  This is supposed to be the Jets’ stud left tackle. Perhaps a little more seasoning next to Mr. Faneca and the “Brick” will not have his jock handed to him in such a public and humiliating manner.  Where oh where is the relevant analysis from CBS?  I do not believe they mentioned Brick’s name once while Richard Seymour drank his milkshake Daniel Day-Lewis style time and time again.  I think Paul Dano would have blocked better.  Richard Seymour dominated and man-handled the Brick so thoroughly, it made me wonder if Belichick had been throwing around the phrase “horse’sh@#” in describing him, as he had in years past firing his team up to dominate the Bills.   

Where has this Richard Seymour been?  I haven’t seen him, have you?  I think he’s got a little Usain Bolt in him.  Just fast enough, or in this case, hard enough to win, no more.  Gonna leave everything in the tank that I can, just in case I need it later.  Not a bad strategy.  

Patriots - 1.  Doubter nation - 0.  

2. Jim Zorn:

Sorry Zorny.  Great bounce back from week one, maybe this offense isn’t doomed.  You know what, I can’t do it.  I rescind my retraction (maybe I should run for office).  I’m not sold on Zorny until I see more.  Show me some offense against someone who are not the Saints.  30th in pass defense last year and 28th so far this year.  I would say this ain’t your father’s Saints’ pass defense, but that really doesn’t work in this situation.  

Quick Hits:

-If the Raiders are awful, what does that make the Chiefs?  Does Herm Edwards feel just a little bit guilty cashing his check each week?  You weren’t even in the game against a team that threw for 55 yards passing.  Against a team whose head coach isn’t speaking to either his owner or defense coordinator.  Who’s gonna get that first win out of the three Missouri teams (don’t forget Detroit has been accepted as part of Missouri for this football season only)? I was going to look at their schedules but it was just too painful.

-The Cowboys are off and running, starting 2-0 against the Browns and Eagles.  So what if they didn’t bring their defense to Dallas for the Monday Nighter.  So what if their coach “didn’t see it that way” when asked at half time about the Eagles moving up and down the field.  So what if their coach celebrates 1st quarter touchdowns like a contestant winning a beauty pageant on speed.  So what if they have 21 penalties for 190 yards in the first two games.  Could someone please explain to the Cowboys that the face mask rule is still in effect and now it is always going to be a 15 yarder.  

The most talented team in the league is the most undisciplined.  And if the coaches don’t care, or don’t see it as a problem, why is there any expectation that the problem will be fixed?  Think it doesn’t matter?  Really?  In last year’s 21-17 playoff loss to the Giants, the Cowboys out-gained the Giants 336 to 230.  Penalties: Giants: 3.  Cowboys: 11.  This was a tight game and the difference was penalties.  Not Romo or Jessica or Cabo, but penalties.  Penalties is the most direct result of coaching and discipline.  The penalties are a virus and they will eventually become fatal if not rectified.  But if the coach isn’t concerned...

-With Roy Williams out for a few weeks the Cowboys will have their best defensive passing games of the year.  Roy Williams will not start another game in his NFL career.  You heard it here first.  It’s over.  I think Roy thought if he changed his number, we wouldn’t remember him getting lit up like Times Square time and time again last year on every deep pass.  

-Has anyone benefitted more from the scheduling of two cupcakes at the start of their season, than Aaron Rodgers?  With all due respect to the Vikings not named Tavaris, the Vikings have one of the worst pass defenses over the past few years.  The Lions, well, they’re the Lions.  Possibly the most untalented front seven of this decade.  For those of you keeping track, last year’s pass defense rankings: Vikings: dead last.  Lions: second to dead last.  Rodgers may very well be the real deal, I’m just not ready to anoint him until we see some production against a team with a defense that does not qualify as just plain offensive.  

This week’s Stupid Hall of Fame Nominees.

-DeSean Jackson.  First ever guy in NFL history to throw the ball away before scoring.  You could give a pass if he didn’t have a history of doing this.  Is DeSean Jackson the most impatient man in the world?  Has he been treated for ADHD?  Did he play too many video games as a child?  Just wait that sliver of a second and then celebrate Ocho Cinco style.  I dread the waitress serving DeSean if his ticket gets lost by the kitchen, watch out. 

-Shawne Merriman.  What conceivable reason could there be for Shawne to disregard the advice of the hundreds of years of expertise and experience of the doctors telling him his knee needed surgery.  You stupid doctors, you don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ll just play through it.  One game later, surgery, out for the year.  Couldn’t see that one coming.  I believe the degree he didn’t earn from Maryland was a medical degree.

-Ed Hochuli.  Did all the steroids we always suspected him of doing when he was pumped up like Arnold rot his brain?  Why would he blow the whistle and call a fumble an incompletion?  Why has it taken until now for the NFL to consider looking at the inadvertent whistle rule?  If this was the NBA, someone would scream conspiracy.  Ed’s been an excellent ref for a long time, but this was a cataclysmic, possible season altering brain fart.  Tell the Chargers’ fans that he’s one of the best refs and it was a lone mistake if they miss the playoffs by one game in Bradyless AFC.  Stupid isn't really the word for this, but I had no other section.  Sorry, Ed.