Saturday, January 9, 2010

NFL Wildcard Weekend (Yeehaa!)

Too busy to blog most of the season, but we’re back for the playoffs. We are most sad, because Ben "the Big Fraud" Roethlisberger did not make it into the playoffs to provide more fun. In BF’s first year without a dominant offensive line and defense, he misses the playoffs. What a shame. He has enjoyed one of the most charmed NFL career’s in history with a historically dominant O-line, running game and defense. All of that was gone once Polamalu went down this season. And what did we get, abject mediocrity. I have to get my Fraud bashing in here because we are only one or two more concussions away from his career being over. Concussions are cumulative, deal with it. And the Fraud, rocket scientist that he is, started the downhill slide by wrapping his head around metal in his helmetless motorcycle accident. Genius, pure genius. So you’ll forgive if I gotta take a bite out of the Fraud, because he’ll only be here another couple years at most to kick around.

On to the Playoffs. I have to start with the chosen one, Saint Aaron Rodgers. Adored and lusted after my the media. A trendy pre-season MVP pick. The helmsman of the trendy Superbowl pick out of the 5 seed. Winners of 7 of their last 8. Remember these two things about Aaron Rodgers: His career record: 17-15. His career record in games that really matter 0-3. (The two Favre games and the Steelers game). That 7-1 streak to end the season started with an impressive Defense-driven victory over Dallas in which the ‘Boys were shut out until the final seconds. Other than that, they had a solid win at home against the Ravens. The rest of it, wins against the 49ers, Lions, Bears, Seahawks and a determined to lose bunch of third string Cardinals. Also in there, the loss to the Steelers which could have allowed the Packers to compete for the division.

Winners win and losers lose. Aaron Rodgers is a loser, and you will see it on Sunday afternoon at Arizona. Filled with boy like giddiness from his week 17 trouncing of the Cardinals and the never ending supply of sexual favors from the media, St. Rodgers will go out there with all the confidence in the world. Until he realizes that his team is behind and he needs to lead the comeback. Then he will be torn. How can he take sacks to preserve his passer rating and strive for victory at the same time. Facing a proven Superbowl winner and playoff battle tested Cardinals team, who have the luxury of a second straight year of "nobody believes in us" positive Karma, watch out.

The Packers will lose this game because their Quaterback is a loser. A media created giant among men. His huberus cannot help but be inflated by the media love-fest. He is the opposite of Tony Romo. Everyone has been dumping on Romo ever since he landed the starting job. He has failed and failed again and in response has worked harder and harder. Aaron has never succeeded professionally, but has never been critiqued. How hot can his fire burn when he has been anointed without accomplishment?

You saw it here and only here with every fool with a word processor from here to eternity picking the Packers. The Cardinals will not only win, but you will see St. Rodgers do his thing, lose on the big stage. But I promise you this. You will not get any critique or questioning of the Saint. After he blows it, the analysis will be "great learning experience" / "he’ll grow from this" / "he’ll be back" / "won’t be long before we see him in the Superbowl" etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum, ad nauseum.

Cardinals 30-20

The Patriots. What to make out of those head scratching Patriots. So hard to figure. I will have to channel my inner Dennis Green and conclude that "they are who we thought they were". A team with an 8-0 home record in 2009. Paired with a 1-6 road record. (Beating the Bucs in London does not count). Brady had a deceiving season with 28 TD’s, 13 INT’s and a hair under 4400 yards. The deception: 10 of those TD’s in routs over the Titans (who entirely quit in the snow) and the Jags (who didn’t seem to know why they were there in the first place). Throw those out and in Brady’s other 14 games, in which the Pats went 8-6, he was threw for an utterly mediocre 18 TD’s and 13 INT’s.

It is not humanly possible for Brady and Belichick to have the fire they had when they were who they used to be. Brady, the no name sixth round draft pick that nobody wanted. Belichick, the guy who could only win under Parcells and was a failure on his own. These guys had something to prove, chips on their respective shoulders. Belichick lived in his office, devising staggering defensive schemes that turned Peyton Manning into quivering jelly. (Side note that I have never heard anyone say before. Manning had years of losses to the Patriots and playoff anguish. Having seen everything conceivable from the Belichick the motivated, Peyton learned and processed it all. Now, there is nothing that can be thrown at him that he does not instantly analyze properly. Belichick helped make the beast that is Peyton today)

No more 18 hour work days from Billy. A reduced fire from Brady. And before you Patriot yahoos take up the pitchforks, riddle me this: How can the 2010 Tom Brady even be compared, in terms of fire and having something to prove, to the 2001 Brady. Nevermind the same person, they are not even the same species. The jubilant kid happily and honestly wanting to share his first SB MVP truck with the team calling it a "team truck". He used to be a maniac, running around like a hepped up psycho in pregame intros and after scores. He was poor, (relatively speaking) young and hungry.

Now he’s a multi-millionaire, married to a woman who makes 5 times as much money as he does and has much greater career longevity, and a three time Superbowl winner. What does Tom have to be hungry about now? He can never catch Peyton as the greatest of all time any longer. Peyton is getting better and Brady is getting worse. And don’t give me the knee injury. Peyton stunk for 7 games after his and then went 12-0 and won the Superbowl. Brady, continues to tread water while mired in mediocrity and developing a penchant for throwing 4th quarter interceptions. Just how hungry can Brady be, as he drives his home valued car back to his island valued home (take your pick of which)?

This is the same guy, who after knocking up former girl friend, said that he did not want to get married until the twilight of his career, late 30's. Instead he marries the Brazilian supermodel a matter of months after using this as his excuse to dump knocked up girlfriend. Maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe Brady really meant it and knows now is the twilight of his career, so he decided to settle down. This won’t happen. He will keep coming back. Keep playing ok. Absent Donte Stallworth, this was essentially the same offense that broke every record in 2007. What was different? Only Brady’s performance. Mediocre. No more, no less. Unless he’s padding his stats in a snow game that the other team quit in. Then he really lights it up.

And remember, Belichick is not the same guy either. No longer in his early fifties, but just about sixty. No longer avoiding his wife by sleeping in his office. No longer with anything to prove. I don’t want to raise the Spygate flag again, but I have to make this point. Since being caught for cheating (it is what it is, Billy, you’ve taught us that over the years) the Patriots have 2 playoff victories, both in 2007. Against the worthless Jaguars and eeking one out against a Chargers team more injured than Eric Idle in European Vacation. Then, of course, they racked up a big 14 points in the Superbowl loss to the Giants. (Remember Brady on media day for that Superbowl. Laughing his ass off and saying "is Plaxico playing defense?" in response to Plax’s prediction of a Giants victory that was stunningly close to the actual store. The smugness was staggering. This is the difference between 2001-2004 Brady and the celebrity QB that now lives there. Old Brady would have said we do our talking on the field, or we’ll have to see kind of thing. Not get all smug, arrogant and condescending.) Also, remember, that since Spygate the Pats have been consistently out-adjusted after half time. Makes you wonder.

Ravens easily could have won week 3 at Foxborough without a dropped pass. The Patriot loss will be the final removed brick that will expose the collapse of the dynasty that has been dead for years.

Conventional wisdom says that the Patriots, undefeated team at home this season, undefeated at home in the playoffs with Brady and Belichick, will win this game against the Ravens. I just don’t see it. The fallacy of the dynasty will finally de destroyed. Harbaugh is hungry, Flacco is hungry, and you know Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are hungry. The fat-cats on the other side of the field, I’m not so sure. I know they’re hungry, but not hungry like they used to be, and certainly not hungry like the wolf. Nuff said.

Ravens 27-19

Bill Simmons raised the possibility that the Eagles were playing possum last week against he Cowboys in not wanting to tip their hand for the rematch. Now, I love the Sports Guy, but I think the Sports Gal may be feeding him crack in his Corn Flakes. The Eagles would have had a 1st round bye, an overall 2 seed and only would have seen the Cowboys again in the NFC championship game. This is pure nonsense. Not one of his brightest thoughts, but I do love the "Big Book of Basketball", so there. I just got up to Dominique in the Pyramid and then watched the Hawks beat the Celtics, so I think this is somehow Bill’s fault.

If the Eagles had, in fact, played possum, then Andy Reid’s brain must have been switched with that of a possum. Eagles wanted to win, without a doubt. The Cowboys, who have been as talented, if not more talented, than any team in the NFL for the past three years, are finally playing like it.

They lose a tight one at home to San Diego, everyone’s consensus pick for best team, and then beat New Orleans in the Big Easy, Washington and Philly (playing with everything on the line), the last two by shut outs. They can pressure the QB, cover and stop the run on defense. They have a dominant running game and QB playing as well as anyone. A receiver who has taken the leap. If they can reign in their demons: penalties, coaching blunders and turnovers, they will be in the Superbowl. People can dish all they want on Jerry Jones, but his personnel team have put together a juggernaut.

The Eagles did not blitz at all in week 17, so expect the kitchen sink to come out this week. Don’t expect it. Bet on it, even your first born. Eagles got killed not blitzing and have had success in the past blitzing Romo. Unfortunately for the Eagles, Romo and Garrett know this and will be ready for this. Watch for some huge plays on draws and screens, as well as hot reads. I even see Roy E. Williams breaking loose for a big one. The E. stands for "Egadds" by the way.

This is not the start, but the continuation of something special.

Cowboys 38-17

I gotta keep the Jets Bengals short because I am out of time. Mark Sanchez stinks like cat piss. Everyone seems to think week 17's Jet thrashing of the Bengals means something. It doesn’t and you should know better. Sure the Bengals played almost everybody and got thrashed. But they had one very important participant wholly absent that day. Emotion. Football is all about energy and emotion. You can’t play a game that means nothing to you against a team that is playing for their playoff lives at home. You can play it. But, you ain’t going to win it.

How to beat the Jets: Put 9 guys in the box (Screw 8) and dare the Sanchize to beat you. He may get a play or even a score out to Braylon, but he stinks. And the more he throws the more the Jets stink. Sexy Rexy knows this. The Jets know it. The Bengals know it. Everyone seems to know it except every talking head giving the Jets the victory.

Rookie coach. Rookie QB, who stinks by the way. How bad you ask? 63.0 QB rating. 53.8% completion percentage. 12 TD’s and 20 INT’s. In the last 7 games he has played, he has 4 TD’s and 10 INT’s. And ZERO quality wins.

In the Jets ultra impressive 5-1 finish: Panthers, Bills, Buccaneers and the white flag waiving Colts and Bengals (while losing to the Falcons). Their QB averaged 107.6 passing yards per game in those 5 wins. No really, that’s not a typo. You can’t win on the road with a crappy QB and no passing game. You just can’t. Someone should tell Sexy Rexy that it is not 1985 anymore. With the rule changes and their ultra mediocre offense and sub-par passing game, the 1985 Bears would not win a Superbowl today. You need to be able to pass and score, among other things, to win today. And the Bears passing game was mediocre at best. They would be a force, but they would not win today, as previously constructed in 1985. And if the Bears couldn’t do it, these Jets are certainly not going to do it.

The media has provided plenty of "nobody believes in us" fodder for the Bengals and they will use it to their advantage, not that they need to because they are facing the only starting NFL QB who can fairly be compared to Jamarcus Russell.

Bengals 23-10